Cubbies Leadoff Man Candidates

We all know this season is a mere formality and it's pretty much automatic the Cubbies will make the World Series again this year, but it would be more fun if we had somebody better than Alfonso Soriano hitting leadoff...so here are our candidates...

RYAN THE RIOT

THE RIOT is already the best shortstop in the league, and if he batted leadoff he'd probably steal about 100 bases. Because he is THE RIOT! THE RIOT!

MIKE FONTENOT
Fontenot is almost as awesome as Theriot and would hit .350 if were the leadoff man.

REED JOHNSON
He has an awesome goatee and I love the way his hat flips up all the time.

THERIOT AND FONTENOT

Maybe they could take turns being the leadoff man every inning. I don't know why nobody has thought of that.

AARON MILES

I don't know what he looks like or who he is but I heard he is a small cuddly white guy like Theriot and Fontenot who is on the Cubs now so he must be awesome.

MARK DEROSA

D-Ro is my favorite player on the Cubs.

I think any one of these guys would be way better than Soriano. I hate Soriano, he makes so much money and all he ever does is strike out all the time. I like when he does that hop though when he catches the ball.

Well that is it for now, next time we will talk about whether we should play our starters during the season or save them all for the playoffs. Until then, it's gonna happen!

Cubbies Unable to Match Maddox's Cubbiness

The Cubs 87 game winning streak is over. There was only one man who possessed enough Cubbiness of his own to stop the runaway train of Cubbiness that was running roughshod thru the league, and that man was Greg Maddox.

Greg Maddox shut the Cubbys down over 7 innings, winning an epic duel against Ted Lilly and his 70 mph chest high curveballs, and giving the Padres a 2-1 win over the Cubs.

Of course, even a loss is really a win for the Cubs, because we all know that by the trade deadline Greg Maddox will be back where he belongs in Cubby blue, and in October he and Kerry Woods will combine to win the World Series clinching game against the Cardinals.

Go Cubbies!

This Team Is Way Hetero

Lou grabs himself some of Soto's ample ass.




Gay!

Haven't updated for a few days. I am dazed as the parade of Wil Ledezmas and Bryan Coreys (released by the Red Sox earlier this year), and Chae Sung Baeks and Many Corpsas continue to be battered by the unstoppable Cubbernaut.

There are still 100 some games left in the season, although I don't really see any reason to keep playing to determine who the best team is. I think its pretty obvious from the Cubs magical run of 9-8 victories against the 21-38 Rockies and 23-37 Padres that not awarding them the World Series trophy right now is just a waste of time and fossil fuels that would make Al Gore's face melt like the Nazi guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Cubbies Win Greatest Game Ever Played

Yesterday the Cubs made baseball history by overcoming a 9-1 deficit to beat the Colorado Rockies!!

You have to love how this team never gives up. Even after their manager gave up by pulling his #3 and #4 hitters from the game in the sixth inning.

I was most impressed by the way the nominal #2 starter Ted Lilly couldn't get out of the third inning again, against a team that is 15 games under .500. That rotation is looking strong heading into the inevitable postseason!

Today The Best Team In Baseball faces off against another one of their former pitchers who I thought was coaching high school baseball somewhere, but is actually still playing baseball himself, Glendon Rusch. This after they faced (and lost to) Shawn Estes a couple of weeks ago.

Glendon Rusch. Really. That's a tough matchup.

Go Cubbies!

Rave Reviews For Site, Cubbies Officially Best Team In The WHOLE WORLD!

This site is already making huge waves in the cloistered world of the interweb:

"Ghatto" writes:

"Shouldn't you extend it (the site name) too: ihatethecubsmorethanilikethesoxbutistillcallmyselfasoxfancauseimacom pleteloser.blogspot.com Only makes sense since it's true. Pretty sad all that effort for a team you shouldn't even care about. Sad Nicky, very sad. "


Nicky responds:

ghatto- wait a second...you're telling me "all that effort for a team you shouldn't even care about"..and here you are spending hours trolling the (Yahoo message) white sox board when you "call yourself a cubs fan"...okay, i see... i better watch it though...youre one of those "ghatto" message board trolls that will virtually pop a cap in your azz through the interweb..please dont be mad at me..im scared..


"Landuece" writes:

"Nicky, pal, buddy,dude!! You need a different hobby. Your almost ate-up-with-it. So sad...... "


Nicky responds:

"Landuece- Please tell me why its sad to spend 15 minutes throwing together a web page...i previously thought the earthquake in china and putting the family dog to sleep were "sad"...maybe now i'll have to add this to my definition . I'll get a different hobby when the people who are on their feet yelling and screaming whenever a Cubs pitcher has 2 strikes on someone in the 4th inning of a game in May against a team that's 15 games under .500 do. DEEEEEEEEEEALLL? Or noooo deal?? "




On to last night's game:

The Cubbies now are the best baseball team in the whole wide world after yet another come from behind victory in front of a shall we say, enthusiastic, crowd at the Filthy Confines.

The Rockies came in having lost eight in a row on the road. Despite this, the Rockies had a one run lead going into the bottom of the seventh. I love it when one of the shitty teams the Cubs are playing have a one run lead late in the game at Wrigley, it's just like the old Batman TV show when the Riddler has the dynamic duo suspended over a pot of boiling lava or something. How will the Cubbies escape this time??

Never fear. Faster than you could say, "Holy Matt Herges!", the Cubs have guys scoring and going from first to third on dribblers to the pitcher, and everything is restored to its rightful Cubbyness.

To top things off, the White Sox were on the road smacking around the team the Cubs were tied with for the best record in baseball, so now....wait for it.....THE CUBS HAVE THE BEST RECORD IN BASEBALL!!!

I can't wait until THE RIOT hits a game winning home run off Matt Herges to win the NLCS. That will be the awesomest.

Today the Cubs actually face a pretty good pitcher in Aaron Cook, who is 7-3 with a 2.82 ERA. Don't worry though, if Ted Lilly's 70 MPH lollipop curve ball doesn't do in the Rockies, the golf ball sized hail we're supposed to get this afternoon will! GO CUBBIES!

Cubs Win World Series Again Last Night

The Cubs won the World Series again last night, when Sammy Soriano blooped a double down the left field line in the 10th inning, scoring Future Hall of Famer Mike Fontenot to give the Cubs a 2-1 sweep over the Dodgers.

The game was sent to extra innings after Ryan THE RIOT scored the game tying run on a sac fly by Geovanni Soto in the ninth.

I tossed and turned for about 2 hours last night trying to decide who is more awesome, THE RIOT or Fontenot. I decided on THE RIOT, because he's THE RIOT. Hee heee hee. That's so clever. THE RIOT!

This is the 22nd time the Cubs have won the World Series this year, because every time they win at Wrigley Field everyone acts like they've won the World Series.

Who needs to win the real World Series when you can act like you've won the World Series 40 times a year? Not the Cubs.

The Cubs murderous schedule continues tonight when they open a 4 game home series with the Colorado Rockies, who are 20-33 and 8-19 on the road.

They face Jeff Francis who has a 6.18 ERA. This should be one of the toughest pitchers the Cubs have faced this year, so they may only hit .300 as a team this weekend instead of .350. I'm sure we'll be seeing lots of awesomely gay stuff like this:

It's gonna happen!